Thursday, March 15, 2012

The sense of sight

I'm really trying to do this blog and Facebook stuff, but I'm really, really untechy so bear with me. During the month of March, or well, the rest of March, I'm going to blog about using the 5 senses in writing. Drop in and tell me your take on this important writing topic.
The sense of sight.
Amy opened the door onto velvet blackness. No stars to twinkle down at her. No moon to light the steps to the street. No porch light. She'd replace the bulb tomorrow.
A single taillight shone red halfway down the block. What was Zeke doing here at this time of night? He should be home, getting ready for work. She stepped onto the small porch to see if he would turn right toward home or left toward the highway and her toe hit something stiff. She knelt down, searching by touch for what she couldn't see in the dark. A small tongue licked her hand. A puppy? Had Zeke brought her a replacement for Trouble? Lifting the soft, furry animal out of the box, she carried it inside to the light. Black curls covered the small body. Dark eyes stared at her and the pink tongue reached out to give her a kiss. "I'll call you Black Velvet, Black for short."
She opened the door wider and the light revealed a box with a pink blanket, a can of dog food and a bottle of water. "I don't know how Zeke thought you could get at that food and water, but his heart was in the right place."
Amy could see the puppy mouth open wide showing white teeth and red tongue.
"I suppose you're barking. That won't do you any good around here, but we'll learn to communicate."
Black licked Amy's nose and she laughed.
"We're communicating already."


11 comments:

  1. A lot of new writers don't realize the importance of using all of the senses. Sight is the go-to, but even so there are so many ways to evoke a mood simply by the way the description is used. Like when you wrote "...velvet darkness" rather than "...it was dark outside." They both say it's at night, but the first conveys much more while the second is like a lump of concrete detail.

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    1. Thanks, Angela. I'm working on hearing now. Did you realize Amy was deaf? Jackie

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    2. Thanks, Angela. I'm working on hearing now. Did you realize Amy was deaf? Jackie

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  2. Sight is definitely a common "sense" in writing. I have to remind myself to choose others as well...

    Lisa :)

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    1. Did you realize Amy was deaf? Jackie

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  3. You're off to a winning start, Jackie. Can't wait for the next blog in this series.

    Toni

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    1. I'm working on hearing now. Did you realize Amy was deaf? Jackie

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  4. Jackie, you're way out ahead whether you know it or not. You've incorporated sight, but feeling, sensory or taste (with that lick!)are all there. Yes!
    jude

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    1. Oh, you got it. The only one I couldn't use was hearing because Amy is deaf. Jackie

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  5. I can feel the night, and I'm in love with the dog, which I can see clearly, and almost touch. Well done.

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    1. Did you realize Amy was deaf? Jackie

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